Don't harm your neighbors

Everyone who works at Casa Maya keeps telling me about the importance of teaching simple morals and ideals in every single lesson or demonstrating them when I interact with kids. They keep telling me how important it is to stress sharing, helping each other, not fighting and respecting other's property. Every time somebody told me this my first week at Casa Maya I just sort of shrugged them off. I didn't ignore them because I thought their intentions were wrong but because I didn't believe that the need for such simple lessons could be so great.

On my second Monday on the job I had an epiphany kids in El Salvador don't learn these so called simple values from society, home or school. I could feel my preconceived notions about Salvadorian need crumbling around me. I assumed that I was coming to a well grounded country were I would be able to work off of the social and cultural building blocks that I am so accustomed to in the States but I was wrong. The people who are working with ESNA and Casa Maya are working on the next generation of kids, they are working on the building blocks for the future of El Salvador. Only from values such as don't harm your neighbor and help others in need can El Salvador prosper in the future. Mutual respect and trust is important in any relationship whether economic, political or social.

Walking on my own

Yesterday I walked 5 kilometers in the blazing Salvadorian sun. Now before you make up your mind about this experience hear me out - I loved every moment of it. I have not really left my house in 12 days. Atecazol made me feel like I had some freedom. As superficial as this feeling might be the walk lifted my spirits. The only time I have walked more than 5 blocks or exerted myself in any manner over the past few weeks was to walk Michele to school with her mom Erika. Before we left the house Erika asked me three different times if the sun bothered me, each time with more concern in her voice than the last. I think she thought I couldn't understand her.

The walk to Atecazol was fantastic mostly because it was done at a quick steady pace, a welcome relief from what I have begun to call the "tropical stroll". I am a goal oriented girl I set my sights on the end and I do everything I can do to get there as fast as possible. It kills me that when we walk the 4 blocks to the store it takes almost 15 minutes. I know that some people say the journey is the best part but I just can't get my mind off of the end point.

The walk to Atecazol was also great because there was nobody to grab my arm and push me into the street at the right moment to cross or pull me back when they're sure I'm about to get hit by a car. The first day I came to Itzalco we went to the market and everyone's pushing a pulling almost got me run over. At one point we were crossing the street and Connie decided it was time to cross, she looked left then right and pushed (firmly guided me into the road might sound nicer here but oh well) me into the road. Just as she pushed me into the road a car came careening around the corner. Michele grabbed my right arm to pull me back toward her and Connie my left to pull me back toward her. In the end I simply ended up stumbling around in the street with two people pushing and pulling me all over the place while a car was rapidly approaching. It's nice not to have somebody decide for you when to take that first step to cross the street.

Frailty has been a constant theme here in El Salvador. People keep asking me if I am okay, if I am too hot, if I need to take a nap, or if I need an extra break in the middle of my 6 hour work week. I am surprised by how much the sun saps my energy but at the same time I know that I'm not made out of fine china. I have made up my mind that I am going to prove to the Salvadorians that I am not made of glass. I am going to prove to them that I do work 12 hour days in the states under the pounding sun, that I can walk 3 miles and not faint and that I can in fact sustain myself. I am going to prove that I can rally with the best, if not the best of El Salvador at least the best of the US.

Sun on my face, wind in my hair

I sat in front of Carlos' house today. I waited for him to grab something from his house and hop back in the truck. In the car I counted the days I have left in El Salvador on one hand while the hot sun beat down on my chest. As I was sitting there I thought that I could grow to love this sun. Even though it felt it heavy on my body, like a weight it, was not uncomfortable. It was rather comforting almost like a boyfriend or a girlfriend, warm and steady at my side. Carlos jumped back in the car after a few moments and broke my moment with nature and we headed to downtown Caluco to pick up Brittanie.

There is only room for one person in the truck so when Brittanie came I had to hop in the back, but I prefer riding in the back of the truck anyways. The floor of the truck has a large hole at the base of the shifter that lets in tons of exhaust, I can breathe easier in the back. The hole in the floor board of Carlos' truck reminds me of my brother's cars, always in a state of disrepair. Carlos' truck isn't like this on purpose though or because he just hasn't gotten around to fixing it's falling apart because he doesn't have the means to put it back together. People here definitely live by the idea of waste not want not.

In the back of the truck the breeze that brushes my cheeks is hot and salty but it is refreshing all the same. As a child I used to ride my horses as fast as I could or hop on an ATV just to feel the breeze on my face. Riding in the back of the truck brings back good memories of days that were easier. Even though riding in the back of a truck is a novelty for me now that I am older it is the reality for the people of El Salvador. To the Salvadorians it doesn't signify easier times it signifies the struggle of getting to work, the mess of a wind tossed hair-do and lack of choices. Here people don't ride in the back of a truck nestled between sacks of corn and empty crates with their 6 month old babies in their arms because they want to they do it because they have to.

The last few days have been spectacular and eyeopening. The people who have been given the responsibility to watch Brittanie and I have loosened their grip a bit. I can almost guarantee you this is not on purpose but it is nice all the same. In the last few days some of the luxuries that have been lavished on Brittanie and I, such as riding in an air conditioned car, have fallen away. We wash our own clothes by hand now, we walked by ourselves more than two blocks and we're able to talk to people that have not been handpicked and found to be trustworthy. The last few days have given me the clearest picture of El Salvador. As much as I don't like what I see, poverty, crime and unfulfilled dreams, this clearer picture has absolutely captivated my attention. I wish I had more time to continue to decipher it.

Dirt and Bugs

If you told me right now that I have an ant on my arm and a mosquito buzzing around my head you would be wrong. You missed the two ants fighting on my shoe, the tiny bug that looks like a dot running around on my hand, the tiny spider on my shirt and the half ant half wasp looking thing on my leg. This is not even an exaggeration.

There are two phenomena/feelings that I am having to get used to here in El Salvador. The first is the feeling of bugs crawling on me all the time. At first I thought that I was just being paranoid then I realized that no, every time I feel like I have bugs crawling on me I do, in fact, have bugs crawling on me. The bugs here are everywhere and tiny. Most of the bugs consist of ants. Millions of tiny ants crawl up and down the walls of every house and office building I have been in. People seem to live in more or less acceptance of the insects. Only when they start to make small piles in a corner of a room or on the edge of a door jam is a little poison left out to kill the offending nest.

I have to remember not to leave anything on my bed when I leave each morning for "work". If it slips my mind and I accidentally leave a book, my back pack or my computer on the bed when I return and finally move it ants scurry away in a zigzag panic. I still don't understand why the ants hide under my books or why they insist on climbing all over my computer when I'm working but I'm beginning to accept it as fact.

The other phenomena is more of a personal hygiene matter and it just boggles me. I'm literally always dirty. It doesn't matter what I do. I can sit at home and read books all day or spend time in the office at Casa Maya and I'm almost just as dirty as if I were to go work in the fields. I wash my face scrub it a bit splash water all over then wipe it off. Every time I leave a weird reddish brown mark on the towel despite already washing and rinsing my face. When I get back to my house I shower off the sticky sweat that starts to accumulate around 9:30 every morning and even in the shower I can't seem to get clean. I lather up the soap and scrub with a these little loufa like gloves but my towel always gets dirty when I dry off.

I've started not drying off after I shower for two reason: 1. I hope that leaving the little drop of water on my body will evaporate and help my melting core cool down 2. I don't like to see how horribly I failed at cleansing myself. The other day I was looking really hard at the little area on the inside of my elbow pondering how it became so tan, then I realized it was just dirt.

Personal appearance is very important here but I'm going to embrace the fact that I am the scrubbiest person in the office. 

Feeding the world one family at a time

Yesterday I went and viewed an agriculture project that ESNA is working on in Castana, El Salvador. The project is small in acreage , 5 acres max, but measured in the impact it has had on the four families it is huge. The project began almost two years ago when ESNA picked 10 families from the community to participate in an intensive two month training then a three year commitment on the farm. Only four of the initial ten families stayed through the training. The families that left thought that it was too much theory and not enough practice. In their rush to get their hands dirty they missed out on three years of rent free land. Many of the families that dropped out during the training tried to get back into the program after the remaining families started to grow, harvest and sell their crops but one strike and they were out. This is too big of an opportunity to squander it on people who are not wholly committed to the project.

Family Garden

The families that stayed received everything that they needed, short of a guarantee from nature that she would comply with their crop cycles, to have a thriving farm. First the families were taught general farm skills such as soil maintenance, crop rotating, plant families, wind breaks, drip systems, etc. Most of these families, although farmers all of their lives, have never grown anything except beans and corn. After the training each family drew straws for their plot of land. Once they had their land ESNA supplied the drip systems, seeds, fertilizer and technical support for the families.

Today the project is in its second year and is beginning the transition to being self-sustainable. The farmers have learned to grow such finicky crops such as tomatoes and bell peppers which bring in enough money from the market to sustain their families. Each farmer was excited to tell Guillermo what they grew in the past season and how it fared at the market. Many of the farmers lit up when they started to talk about their plans for the coming season and what they were hoping to plan.

One family in particular stuck out of the group to me. This family was doing something that really inspired and makes me want to help other families do the same thing. When this family began this project their and that of their children consisted of beans, corn, the occasional protein and the random vegetable from the market. Not they have a thriving garden for personal consumption alongside the land for commercial cultivation. In their garden they are growing okra, cabbage, eggplant, radishes, tomatoes, squash and bell peppers. The mother talked about wanting to grow carrots, cucumber, broccoli, chili peppers and different types of squash.

It was really inspiring to me to see a family get educated then be given a chance to use that education and in the end strive to learn and try more and more. You can see a thirst in them for something better, something different. A few years ago this family was barely self subsisting on a diet of bean and corn with six children. Now not only are selling their crops at the market but they are growing enough that they barely have to buy fruits or vegetables anymore. This is what I like to see, this is what I tried to do by myself at home but couldn't find enough time to commit to my plants. I want to be able to help others be able to feed themselves and their families healthy balanced diets. By empowering parents to feed their children we give them the ability to empower their children to search for and obtain whatever it is that they might want to do in their young lives.

People here constantly ask me why I want to work in agriculture. Here, agriculture is the poor man's work. Only people who can't find anything else to do work in agriculture. For me though, agriculture is about empowering people to feed themselves and giving them self confidence when they see what they can do and how well they can provide. It's also about teaching people that their is a wealth of knowledge that they can tap into if they work together and that through team work much more is possible.